


Kiss and Tell

by aurora_australis



Category: Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries
Genre: F/M, Season/Series 03, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-23 23:44:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14943581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurora_australis/pseuds/aurora_australis
Summary: Once upon a time there was a Tumblr discussion of Jack's kissing prowess...





	Kiss and Tell

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fire_Sign](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fire_Sign/gifts), [whopooh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whopooh/gifts), [DeVereWinterton](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeVereWinterton/gifts).



> AU, set sometime late Season 3.
> 
> Inspired by [this Tumblr post](http://firesign23.tumblr.com/post/174923083122/starkswaters-there-is-absolutely-now-way-you) and the two cakes theory.
> 
> Many many thanks to Fire_Sign for the beta read!

“Jack! Jack, wait!”

Jack was in the car before she’d finished speaking. He momentarily considered just driving away and leaving her there, but that would only make her pursue this particular line of inquiry later and considerably more irritated than she was now.

He checked her progress in the rear view mirror and saw that she was practically at the car now. Dammit. Here it came. He’d been hoping against hope that she’d missed it. But of course she hadn’t. She didn’t miss anything. It was one of the reasons he loved her. Though _that_ was definitely a discussion for a later date.

Phryne grabbed the car handle and opened the door with a bit more force than was strictly needed. Well then. It seemed _more_ irritation later didn’t mean _no_ irritation now.

“In a hurry, Inspector?” She asked, taking a seat beside him and crossing her arms over her chest in annoyance. “In your rush, you almost left me behind.”

“An unintentional oversight, Miss Fisher, I’m sure. Apologies, I’m just in a hurry to get these witness statements back to the station.”

“Speaking of which… “

Well, he thought, that had been stupid. He’d just given her a perfect opening. Jack wondered what Freud would say about _that_.

“Yes, Miss Fisher?” Jack asked as he turned over the engine and pulled away from the kerb.

“Have you met Mrs. Mathers before, Jack?”

“What makes you ask that?” he responded, more to buy himself time than out of any genuine interest.

“Because the moment you introduced yourself she started blushing worse than Collins at the Imperial Club.”

And there it was. Honestly, he’d expected this ever since Muriel Mathers, née Brown, had come forward at the arcade to give a statement. He was actually a little surprised that Miss Fisher had waited this long to interrogate him; he’d half expected her to do it _while_ they were interviewing the woman.

Jack quickly considered his options. He could say Miss Fisher was imagining things. He could say it had been merely a trick of the light. He could say he had absolutely no idea.

He could, but he’d be lying.

Jack sighed heavily, tapping his fingers on the wheel as he turned the car in the direction of the station. No. No, he might as well tell her the truth. If he didn’t, she’d probably dig up the whole sordid tale anyway. And besides, it wasn’t that embarrassing a story. Was it?

“Yes,” he coughed, his mouth suddenly dry. “Yes I know her. Well, knew her. A long time ago.”

With this admission, Phryne lit up like a Christmas tree. Stories from Jack’s past were so rare, and she treasured every one of them. And stories that made other women _blush_? She might very well have just hit the jackpot with this one.

“Go on,” she encouraged.

“It’s embarrassing.”

“Even better.”

Jack rolled his eyes, but kept them firmly on the road.

One last attempt then.

“I have trouble recalling trauma?”

Being a conscientious driver, he couldn’t actually see her response, but he could _feel_ her glaring in his general direction. Fine, he thought. “Fine. When I was in the Academy, my best friend there was a man named Tom Presley. Tom was courting a young woman named Mabel Brown. And Mabel had a sister — Muriel. Who you met this afternoon.”

“Mrs. Mathers,” Phryne confirmed.

“Yes. I, well, I liked Muriel. More than liked. I was… completely enamoured of her.”

“A love affair! Jack, how exciting.”

“Hardly. It was all quite innocent. A bit of flirting, escorted her a few places with Tom and Mabel, that kind of thing. Until…” Jack sighed again, this time out of irritation. Really, aunts were forever ruining his amorous ambitions.

“Oh don’t stop now, Jack, the story is just getting good!”

“Right, glad my youthful humiliation is proving amusing for you.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Jack, we haven’t even _gotten_ to the humiliation yet.”

Jack could feel his ears getting redder the longer this continued, but he bravely soldiered on.

“One day, several months into our acquaintance, Mabel and Muriel’s aunt hosted her annual New Year’s Picnic on her estate and the girls invited Tom and me to accompany them. Which we did. It was a big affair, lots of friends and family, decorations, and the food…” Jack stopped speaking for a moment and got a brief, far away look in his eye at the memory.

Now it was Phryne’s turn to roll her eyes. Really that man and his food. She wondered if perhaps _this_ was the real love affair in the story.

“Right, so the estate was fairly enormous and was on a large plot of land. Lots of places to sneak off to, which the four of us did. But Tom and Mabel wanted to be alone, and eventually it was just Muriel and I. We found ourselves atop a very romantic bank overlooking a very romantic pond and she, being by far the braver of us, suggested we play a game.”

“Go onnnnn,” Phryne encouraged with a grin.

“Truth or dare. Except she went first. And she dared me. To kiss her. Which I did.” Jack stopped, hoping he could end the story then and there.

“That can’t be all of it, Jack. The woman _blushed_. Crimson red. _Collins_ red! What did you do to the poor girl?”

“What did I — I didn’t _do_ anything. I kissed her.”

“ _Annnnd_?”

“And it was nice. Good. Very good. I was young, and excited, and I kissed that girl with everything I had, for a not insignificant period of time.”

“So the cause of the blush was some rather delightful summertime snogging?”

“No, it’s probably what happened after.”

“What happened???” Phryne was practically salivating now.

“When we parted, Muriel was a little… disoriented. Dazed, I guess? And in her somewhat compromised state, she failed to remember where we were. Which was at the top of a small bank. Overlooking a duck pond.”

“I see…”

“Yes. She stumbled backwards, fell down the bank, and landed smack dab in the middle of the pond. When I pulled her out, she was covered in mud, embarrassed, and quite irate. The mood was, undeniably, broken. We walked back to the house in silence, past all her aunt’s guests, and that was, until today, the last time I saw her. I think she was rather mortified by the incident and didn’t care to see me again and relive the whole thing. Tom and Mabel stopped seeing each other a few months later anyway and that was that. So there you have it. The whole sordid affair. Happy now?” The end of his story coincided with him pulling into the small side street next to the station where he prefered to park his car. He turned off the engine and then turned to face her, waiting for her reaction.

“Jaaaack,” she began, and he braced himself for the inevitable teasing he was most definitely expecting, “if you didn’t want to tell me, you could have just said so.”

 _That_ he was not expecting.

“What?” he asked.

“I understand if the real story is too embarrassing, we all have tales from our youths we’d rather leave there. It wasn’t necessary to concoct a whole fantasy just to satisfy my curiosity.”

“A fantasy— Miss Fisher, that story is absolutely true!”

“Really, Jack? The power of your kisses can hypnotize women?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“No, you said you kissed the girl into a trance-like state so powerful she walked into a lake. I mean, bravo for dramatic effect but you lose some points for believability.”

“Were you even listening to me?”

“Look, Jack, all I’m saying is I’ve kissed a lot of men. Many of them have been very good at it. Some have even been extraordinary. But none of them have ever left me stupefied.”

“Well maybe you just haven’t been kissed properly yet.”

“Oh, and I suppose you think you’re up for the task.”

For the rest of his life Jack would not be able to explain what compelled him to do it. Perhaps he was riled up by her goading. Perhaps he’d spent too much time breathing in her French perfume in such close quarters. Perhaps he just wanted to. In any case, his response to her challenge was to reach across the seat, pull her towards him, and kiss her.

Jack kissed her with everything he had and everything he wanted them to be. He kissed the same way he did everything else, with confidence and concentration and an intensity that belied his cool exterior. And he was very, very, _very_ good at it. Later, Phryne would admit, if only to herself, that had a lake been nearby she would most likely have walked right in. But it was more than that. It would always be more than that with them. And when he finally released her, several moments or minutes or hours later (for the rest of her life Phryne was never quite sure), he tucked her hair behind her ear, quickly set their mouths to rights with his handkerchief, and exited the vehicle in the direction of the station entrance.

It was a full minute and a half later that Phryne joined him inside the City South waiting area, looking slightly dazed, a little bit shocked, and just the teensiest bit undone.

“Everything alright, Miss Fisher?” he asked dryly, looking up from his witness statements. “You look a little… overcome.”

Phryne considered her response. She could brush off her breathless and bewildered state a number of ways. She could say she’d caught her dress on the car door and had had to free it. That a breeze had blown away her hat and she’d needed to retrieve it. That she’d been knocked over by an excited youth hurrying past her on the sidewalk.

She could, but she’d be lying.


End file.
